when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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