i just wanna soil my oats bro
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
