i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
