he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
