spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
