this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
