Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
don't judge my taste in strippers
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
