So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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