Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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