I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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