i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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