About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
