That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
