I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
