Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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