You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
