I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
