Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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