you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
