that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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