Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
