I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
