Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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