Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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