i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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