CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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