I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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