When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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