I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
