It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
