we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
