My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize