It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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