im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
