Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
