You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
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Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize