Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
where are you?
Hypothermia
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
