Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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