So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
