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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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