why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
