I looked at my own cervix.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm having to shit out rocks
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