Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
