almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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