when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have aggressive nipples.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
