i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
