Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He did a backflip because drugs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
