i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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