i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
