You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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