So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
