She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
