You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
did you just send me my own nude
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
