This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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