"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
