reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize