My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize