This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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