If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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