I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
