home. puking in laundry basket.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
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I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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